Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Life Is What You Make It

First off I just want to say that writing and sharing my first post was an awesome feeling. I no longer had to keep to myself what I had been keeping for the last month, which felt like forever. I now feel set free and am able to move forward/face on challenges that may come our way. Thank you all again for your kind words and support.

Yesterday when meeting with a very nice nutritionist who asked me why I was no longer breastfeeding, I shared with her that our son was diagnosed with Down's Syndrome and after he was released from the hospital we did a lot of running around seeing different specialist which did not allow me the time to pump. I told her I believe the stress that I was dealing with at the time did not allow me to produce enough milk. (In order to produce enough milk, one needs to be in a stress free environment and relaxed). The nutritionist was sympathetic and asked me a question that blew me away. She asked " So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep him or are you going to give him away"? I was thinking HUH?! I've had him for more than a month, how in the world would I just give my child away? No offense to mothers who have given their child up for adoption. I m not judging anyone because everyone has their reasons. I just cant imagine after a mom has spent a month or so with her child that she would give her child away. Especially just because he has Down's Syndrome.

When I was pregnant I had two dogs. Petey which everyone knows is my baby and Max that I had adopted for just a few months. When I found out I was pregnant, I realized there was just no way I would be able to care for a baby as well as two dogs. So I made the painful decision to give Max up. I cried for several days, just thinking about how he must feel I abandoned him. So of course there is no way in the world, I would give my child away. I have been blessed with such a beautiful child who has taught me so much in just one month. I know for sure he will continue to teach me and others for the rest of our lives.

After I came home.  I met with a social worker from an Early Intervention program. She paid us a visit to provide us with information on different services that they provide for children with disabilities. A program that will evaluate and identify whether there are any physical or developmental issues. She was so nice. It was as if I had known her for some time. Many people that know me, know that it sometimes takes me time to warm up to a person. But not this time, I was so comfortable with this woman. I felt like God sent her to us for a reason. I shared with her that I was also a social worker but not licensed yet. She was amazed. I am not sure why she was amazed though. But her response was "Wow you have a story"! I thought that was funny how I had just shared birth story earlier and here I have a woman who did not know tell me I had a story. I also realized after she left, that another reason why I was blessed with Aiden is because I am a social worker. A person who lives to assist others to achieve their full potential and allow them the ability to become productive citizens. I was supposed to have Aiden!

Later in the evening my cousin in California posted on her facebook status that after she read my blog  she was emotionally exhausted and needed alone time to think about all the BS that life brings. After all the wonderful comments and support that I had received emphasizing my ability to care of my son regardless of his disability. I had to respond and correct my cousin. My response to her was " You mean all the BS that people bring to life. Life is what you make it".

Someone shared this with me and I thought it was fitting for this post.

http://www.ndsccenter.org/resources/package1.php

5 comments:

  1. Love your blog Michelle! You are right, us social workers are a special group who can handle more than most and view things through a much more sensitive and optimistic lens. Aiden is an amazing and precious gift who will bring you and all who meet him joy. Seems that nutritionist could benefit from a little bit more of a social work perspective, if you ask me!

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  2. Did you know you can relactate? http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/relactation.html

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  3. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Life is exactly what it is supposed to be for you.
    Not understanding the change in your life, is probably what your cousin was referring to.
    May the Lord continue to give you the stregnth, you have shown on this blog, and give you the patience you will need to help you with the things you may not understand....
    Btw he is beautiful....Cee

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  4. I AM PROUD TO SOMEHOW BE RELATED TO YOU . AND KNOWING THE LOVING AND CRAZY FAMILY WE BOTH COME FROM . I KNOW WHY YOUR HEART IS SO BIG AND YOUR THOUGHTS ARE CORRECT . AIDEN CAME TO THIS WORLD FOR A REASON . AND I CONGRATULATE YOU FOR HAVING THE COURAGE TO FACE THIS AND ANY OTHER CHALLENGES . THERE IS A PHRASE I LIVE BY " GOD DOESNT GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE" .... GOD BLESS YOU ALL ESPECIALLY BABY AIDEN . AND YOURE RIGHT YOU CAN EITHER MAKE IT A GOOD OR MAKE IT BAD SITUATION .... LOVE YOU MICHELLE

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  5. Uh oh.. I made some changes and which allows people to post anonymously.. Not a good idea because now I dont know who the last two people who commented are. Im sorry!

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